Ha. Haha. Hahahahahahaha.
I laugh because anyone who knows me knows the answer to this question.
My love for the Backstreet Boys is certainly deeper than the love most people develop for musical groups. But being as deep into their extensive fandom as I’ve dug over the last decade or so, I have learned that there are deeper, darker places fans can go.
I’ve thrown around the idea of writing a memoir in the context of the Backstreet Boys, and I’ve written a few pages. I have a LOT I can say about them, the impact their music has had on me, the security blanket it serves as, the friendships I’ve strengthened through our mutual love, and the experiences I’ve had involving them. Trying to capture all of this in a relatively short piece of writing is going to be a challenge for sure.
But I’m always up for a writing challenge. So here we go.
The first time I heard of the Backstreet Boys was circa 1994 when I was lusting after Jonathan Taylor Thomas, an actor probably most famous for voicing Simba in The Lion King. One day, my mom brought home a copy of Bop Magazine, which was full of superficial articles and glossy 8 1/2x 11s of the world’s biggest heartthrobs. There were plenty of pictures of JTT, and I started getting Bop regularly.
Over the months I collected these magazines, which also included pictures of Zachary Ty Bryan, Devon Sawa, and Rider Strong, I noticed a group of 5 boys I had never heard of. They were… not. Just not. Not attractive, not worth my time, and certainly not worthy of taking up a spot where another picture of JTT could be featured. I may not have known who they were, but I did know that I didn’t like them. They even had a name that was stupid - the Backstreet Boys.
Fast forward to the summer of 1997. I was just starting to listen to the radio and get really into the pop music scene. And suddenly, there the Backstreet Boys were again This time, they were surrounded by innocent guitar riffs and synth beats. The song was “Quit Playing Games (With My Heart),” and it was… fine. Honestly, it was just okay. I found it annoying after Z100 did its typical overplaying thing. Girls were losing their minds for these dudes, and I honestly didn’t understand why. The song was fine. Their haircuts in the music video were dorky.
One of my best friends at the time, Neha Mirchandani, was one of these losing-her-mind girls. She was head over heels for Brian Littrell (one of the five groupmates, along with Nick Carter, AJ McLean, Kevin Richardson, and Howie Dorough) and never stopped talking about the Boys. I didn’t get it.
One afternoon in the spring of 1998, I called her house to see if she wanted to come over. Her mom answered. “Neha’s in the shower,” she told me. Then, hesitantly, she added, “Do you like the Backstreet Boys?”
“Sure,” I replied nonchalantly.
“Well, don’t tell her, but I got her tickets to see them for her birthday. I got four. Would you like to come with us?”
It was as if a lightswitch was turned on in my brain. Of course I wanted to go! My first real concert? Yes, yes, yes! And just like that, the Backstreet Boys became my favorite band. I started listening to their music on repeat, though “Quit Playing Games” has remained one of my least favorite songs of theirs.
On May 15, my mom came home with a new Bop magazine that I could read in our minivan as we drove to a Bat Mitzvah in Massachusetts. Inside the front cover was a picture of Nick Carter, one of the band members. Until I saw this picture, his dorky, mid-part bowl cut did nothing for me. But this one? With the tight black turtleneck and choppy blonde hair and adorable smile? It called to me. I went from not caring about the Boys, to being a fan, to being a screaming lunatic in two short jumps. I ended up wallpapering my room with Bop posters, but that original picture of Nick that I fell in love with traveled with me in a folder for a long time.
This is not that exact picture, but it's from the same photo shoot!
The years I spent in middle school were some of the worst in my life emotionally; I suspect this is true for most of us as we navigate changing interests and friendships, more challenging schoolwork, and raging hormonal surges. A lot of my friends moved away. I had an unrequited big old crush on a boy. A group of girls decided to emotionally torture me about that. I was overweight. There were some dark, sad times for me.
I had, still have, wonderful and supportive parents, but in these early teenage years, they never feel like enough to help you feel safe. But five Boys singing soft melodies to you, promising “(They’ll) Never Break Your Heart” (also never my favorite song) and that they’ll give you “All I Have to Give” (objectively the best song on BSB’s first American/second studio album)? That is true comfort. I could play a Backstreet Boys song when I was happy and dance to it. I could play one when I was sad and cry to it. I could sing “Anywhere for You” as a duet with Nick if I warbled over Brian’s party. Anytime I was angry, a BSB song would bring my blood pressure straight down. My disc man went to so many places with me.
Maybe this is why so many people cling to the music of their youth. Beloved songs bring us back to a time and a place, play the movies of our lives back to us in our brains. Most of us get nostalgic for the past at some point, and music helps us reimagine the times we miss. Combine the times we miss with the times when we most needed comfort, and there’s no diminishing the attachment that might form.
Of course, some people move on from the band they most loved when they were 13 to the bands they loved in college or in their 20s, when life had less demands on them than it does as they secure their place as adults. They relish in the songs that can take them to simpler times of hanging out at bars and dancing in clubs, drinking and chatting and meeting new people before late nights have a negative effect on us physically and mortgages take their toll financially.
But the Backstreet Boys have been together for 30 years, which is hard to believe. How many bands really stand the test of time like this? And to top it off, they are still recording. Their most recent album was A Very Backstreet Christmas, released in October 2022. Prior to that, DNA came out in January 2019. It debuted at number 1 on the Billboard charts despite being the band’s ninth album.
In simpler terms, whatever issue I’ve faced since I was in seventh grade?
Yeah. There’s a Backstreet song for that.
My band of nostalgia doesn’t have to change with the decades because the Backstreet Boys have songs that span decades. From unrequited crushes to proms to Sweet 16s to making new friends in college to getting a first job to getting married to starting a family - the Backstreet Boys have been there for me. And continue to be there for me.
It’s hard to even know how best to structure this entry - a list of songs and what they remind me of? A list of life memories and the songs that I associate with them? I’m opting to go for a list of the weirdest, wildest Backstreet memories I have. Let’s see how this goes.
My first Backstreet Boys concert.
As previously stated, knowledge of this concert was what sparked my over-the-top love for the band. Neha, Erin, my mom, and I attended. Parking cost more than anticipated, so we had no money left for t-shirts. We carried gigantic signs (I believe mine said, “Nick - I Just Wanna Be Close to You”) that could never be seen from our seats two rows from the top of the stadium. We used black lipstick to write the names of our favorite Boys across our foreheads. The screaming was so loud that unless you knew the songs, you had no idea what they were singing. And at the time, before the internet was as prevalent as it is today, I didn’t know a chunk of the songs as the Boys had a European career that eclipsed their American one, and they drew on material that had never been released in this country. I had access to some of it, but some of the B sides of singles were a mystery to me. (Namely, AJ’s solo, “Lay Down Beside Me” wasn’t something I would hear for another month or so; I hunted it down after this concert.) I screamed a lot myself. My voice was hoarse the next day. My mom maintains that this was one of her least favorite BSB concerts due to the volume. But she, less familiar with the Boys’ music at the time than she now is, was totally floored by the fact that they had TWO encores rather than one, and that for the second one, “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back),” the Boys came out in coffins with pyrotechnics announcing their return.
And then there was the fact that her car died on the way out of that particular concert. We believe we were almost carjacked, and Mom may or may not have called Dad and said, “Tom, if you never see us alive again, here’s the license plate of the man who killed us.” Despite that threat, and the embarrassment of being in a diner at 3am with “NICK” written in black lipstick across my forehead, we survived. We cried hysterically when it was over, and my mom promised it wouldn’t be our last BSB concert. I don’t think Neha ever went to another one; I believe Erin maybe saw them once more; it was FAR from my last concert. I’m something like 25 deep now. And that night in August of ‘98 was the beginning.
2. Britney Spears Bonus Tracks
Despite Britney’s lack of vocal talent, I ran out and bought her debut album, “...Baby One More Time” upon its release. That was my trend in those days. I brought it to my grandmother’s house with my prized CD boombox one day and was listening while working at her kitchen table. Maybe she was out teaching a piano lesson? The boom box wasn’t near me, and I was busy with homework or something, so the CD ran past its last track. And then - SURPRISE! Jive Records, the label shared by both acts, had stuck a “sneak peak” at the Boys’ new album at the end of the CD! Britney herself introduced clips from “The One,” “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely,” and “I Need You Tonight.”
I pretty much lost my mind with the last clip. “I Need You Tonight” was a Nick solo that he had been singing for years; most fans thought it was called “Heaven in Your Eyes.” More on that later. I was THRILLED to know it was finally going to be included on an album.
3. “I Want it That Way”
The Backstreet Boys first American album, a compilation of their first two European albums, was released in 1997, although it did take me some months to find it. Still, I went so hard with my love for them that I was JONESING for new music way before I had it. Then, on Easter morning 1999, I was getting dressed and listening to Z100 like any other morning.when the music that was music to my ears happened - the brand new Backstreet Boys song was announced! “I Want it That Way” flowed through my speakers for the first time, and I started screaming so loudly that my parents rushed into my room demanding to know what was wrong.
Is “I Want it That Way” one of my favorite BSB songs? Not on the recording, no. The lyrics are really repetitive and strange; the Boys themselves have admitted that they don’t know what it’s about. There is a different version of it floating around out there with almost completely different lyrics, and it makes a lot more sense. I’m not sure why it got changed. BUT this is a song that has stood the test of time; 25 years on and this is a song my students can still sing. And in a concert venue, the energy around this song is heartfelt and palpable.
And, strange little aside. My favorite radio station joked whenever they played this song, DJs singing “Piscataway is thataway” over the last line, referencing the unique name of a nearby town. BSB made the radio rounds and ended up on my favorite morning show a few weeks after the song’s release. When “IWITW” played in the middle of the interview, the final verse had new words that BSB themselves sang dubbed over it:
“Tell me where
It’s somewhere off the parkway
Tell me where
It’s somewhere close to Rahway
Tell me where
I’ll tell you the exact way
Piscataway is thataway.”
I thought it was hilarious at the time. And 15 years later, when I scored my full time teaching job in Piscataway, I looked back on that song as a sign.
4. Into the Millennium World Tour
I was HUNGRY to see the Backstreet Boys in concert again, and their Into the Millennium tour sounded epic. They were going to FLY into the arena on SURFBOARDS. They had hired a team of backup dancers. The stage was going to be in the round, so even the furthest seats would be a lot closer than I had sat on the previous tour.
When dates were announced, though, a major problem arose. The tour’s East Rutherford date coincided with a Friday night Edison High School football game - and I was in the marching band. I didn’t see what the big deal about missing ONE football game was, and, to be honest, if my daughter were in this situation, I would more than likely let her go to the concert. But my mom would NOT let me miss a game.
So she sentenced me to certain death by not allowing me to go to this tour.
I’m sure there was at least one day when I wouldn’t speak to her. I have a strong memory of not wanting to speak to anyone on the day tickets went on sale. We were staying down the shore with friends, and the adults all banded together to sing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” at the top of their lungs. Why they thought this would make me feel better is beyond me. I MIGHT have cracked a smile at how absolutely ridiculous they sounded belting this out, most likely out of tune.
Luckily, with the concert selling out in minutes, a second date was announced for Continental Airlines Arena for Thursday night prior to the already scheduled concert. It would mean I would have to go to the concert and be out late, then sit through a full day of school AND perform at the football game. But it was worth it.
5. Andrew Fromm
Just before the release of the album Millennium, word started going around about a Backstreet Boys songwriter. Both a teacher at my dance studio and a substitute teacher some friends of mine had claimed to know the writer of the song “I Need You Tonight.” So when a friend obtained his screen name from said sub and offered it to me, of course I took it. I added BSBHeaven to my friend list on AOL. The first time I saw him come online, I IMed (Instant Messaged) him, and he echoed that he was, indeed, Andrew Fromm the songwriter. Whenever he signed in, he would create private chat rooms and invite anyone who IMed him so he could manage the myriad IMs he received about the Boys. Was it really him? How could we be sure? The fact that he acknowledged all the messages he received seemed a bit suspicious, but the fact that more than one person seemed to know him backed up the possible truth.
My mom, who was still an English teacher at JP Stevens High School at the time, thought maybe this Andrew person was from Edison, and if that was the case, maybe he WENT to JP. So in a reconnaissance move, Mom emailed him to thank him for interacting with me and compliment his skills, at which point she dropped in being a creative writing teacher at JP Stevens. Andrew, always quick on the uptake, emailed my mom back within hours, starting his letter with, “Dear Mrs. Moroney, How’s Mr. Riccio these days?” Mr. Riccio was principal at the time.
And so it was that Andrew Fromm’s identity was confirmed, along with his Edison roots. He started corresponding with her, and with me regularly. He still lived in Edison and wanted to visit his alma mater. I knew this; I knew what day he was considering visiting JP; I knew my mom was going to try to bring him to Herbert Hoover Middle School afterwards to visit me. I probably told some friends even though nothing was set in stone.
It was an afternoon in May, probably within the week Millennium was released, I had chorale practice after school. We weren’t doing much since it was so close to the end of the school year. And suddenly, my mom was in the doorway with this very tall, very attractive guy in his early 20s. IT WAS HIM. Andrew Fromm. Writer of my absolute favorite song. He spent the afternoon with us, played and sang “I Need You Tonight” on the piano. (Someone involved in the production of the record decided to omit the final line of the chorus, “Cuz I see heaven in your eyes,” in favor of repeating “I really need you tonight” because live, Nick would fixate on the “heaven” line and stop the whole song for it. This was ridiculous because the Boys were done performing the song live BEFORE they recorded it, and the “heaven” line is so beautiful. Oh well.) He signed CDs and answered questions while my prepubescent classmates swooned.
A few weeks later, Andrew attended some kind of senior event at JP, and I went and sat with him for a few hours. He took me and my mom out to eat at Ferraro’s Italian Restaurant near Hoover and showed me pictures of the Millennium release party, which were on the same roll of film as pictures he took on his first visit to Hoover. That excited me because it meant that he probably showed the Boys pictures of me! Told them stories! Ah! (I have never been able to confirm if this happened.)
Andrew took to popping by for visits. One time, he ended up in our house and played our piano. I could have *sworn* later that he played “How Did I Fall In Love With You?” which was on the Boys’ next album, Black and Blue, but Andrew insisted he hadn’t written that yet. He drove me somewhere and played me the demo of a Christmas song he had written for the Boys called “I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You;” it ended up being recorded by ‘N Sync for Jive Records’ Platinum Christmas compilation. Savage Garden’s “I Knew I Loved You” came on the radio, and he waxed poetic about what a great song it was and how he wished he had written it. (This would be the basis for the prom conversation I had with Marvin.)
I think the last time I saw Andrew was at the “Black and Blue” tour; Mom and I called to him from the stands and waved. We were up a level, and he almost certainly couldn’t tell who we were. I messaged him on Twitter once and didn’t get any kind of major reaction. I still hold out hope that one day we can reconnect. Though Andrew did go through a dry spell, probably around 2003-2005, he still considers himself moderately successful in the business.
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